ilekso

I seem to have forgotten that I created a blog section of this website to empty the contents of my mind each day and share my experience. To have something to look back on, for reflection and for growth. Since my last post in July, I feel I am doing a lot better mentally. I will always have difficult days. Days where I am less motivated, more tired and anxious, where I am worrying about my future, wondering if I’ve made any mistakes. I will also have days filled with happiness and light and love. Winter is an interesting season for me. I usually have less to look forward to as I’m typically tired and lacking energy. This year, though, it feels different. I’ve made a big decision and though I am worried as usual that maybe it’s not the right path, I am excited to pursue something new. I begin taking classes online through my local community college on Tuesday! I need to earn 27 math credits to add to the 3 that I already have so that I can become endorsed to teach secondary math! Through my work as a paraeducator, I have really fallen in love with the concepts and how it feels to help a student through a problem. I like finding shortcuts or specified tricks for solving for a particular student. Everyone is different and my goal is to teach to every student. To find ways to incorporate something into each lesson that appeals to each student as an individual. I don’t need them to leave my class loving math. I just want them to leave my class not hating it. I have difficulty committing to big decisions like this, as I have so many passions and I don’t want to end up putting in a lot of time and money if I don’t have to. I have put a lot of thought into this decision, though, and it feels good. I enjoy math, I’m good at teaching it, and I am ready for a new challenge. Influencing the lives of high school students is also incredibly rewarding. They look up to me and see me as a person, because I have chosen to see them as people too. I have way too many thoughts on this topic for one post, so I will leave it here for now: all anyone wants is to be seen and to be heard. Whether or not a person chooses to make some sort of greater, impactful mark on the world or not, they do desire these things. One of my purposes in this world will always be to help others be seen and heard, to help them realize that they are important and worthy of the life they wish to have. I am eager to begin this new chapter of my life. I can’t wait to see what it holds.

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