.acceptance.

it’s getting easier
yet on the floor
at the end of the bed
i find myself still
hugging my knees
asking for a different reality

the truth is
i will not get a response
to all the things
i wanted to say
and though they come out
when i listen to songs
i’m sure you would have loved
i don’t hear a sound

i never thought of you as malicious
but selfish is a word that i have used
as action after action
spoke louder
than the voice
on the other end of the line
you were never there (and to be honest, that’s fine)
you are always with me now

.lovely.

go on, be free
find yourself
but then please come back
find me
i will try to wait here
but you should know
that if i stray
it’s not because i saw something
more beautiful
followed it out
lost my way
it will be because i needed a place
and i found a stranger
that made me feel safe
if you do return
and i still am standing here
remember that in life
there is no guarantee
but it could be lovely
you and me

.guilt.

a fraction of a second
is already enough
is already too much
i wish the thoughts
would run away
as i attempt to drive them out
but they don’t
they stay
and i’m supposed to take comfort
in the fact
that your suffering is complete
that you always loved me
that i have your eyes
but now your work…
is mine