.light.

morning and i’m awake and panicked
night and i am drained
sleep
feels like a language that is dead
not romantic, but full of dread
the in between is suffocation
no escape
no memory
of why i thought it better to stay than go
who am i doing this for
it can’t be me because
im not here
im not here
im not here
i can’t be here
i don’t want to be here
i don’t want to be here or there or anywhere
it’s dark here…
there…
everywhere…
i can’t find the switch
did you lie?
is there even a light?

.wrong town.

i had a dream
i was running to your house
to find you
i remembered it was
down this road
take a right
up this hill
past that field
everything looks so familiar
it must be here
you must be here
i guess the want was too deep
that i just couldn’t see
because right before i woke
i realized
you weren’t going to be found
i was in the wrong town…

.high.

balloons and string
that’s what you brought to me
you set them on the table and you said
where shall we tie all of these
i should have known
you would not wait for a reply
as you tied them to my soul
and to my mind
suddenly
as i looked around
i found that my feet no longer
touched the ground

hello world

Hello there, everyone.  I realize this post is likely not going to be seen by anyone, let alone ‘everyone’.  This is quite alright with me.  It’s all more for myself right now.  I need a place to lay things out, to remember.  I decided to start this blog so that anyone out there who wanders by can get to know me.  I’m not too sure what I’m looking to get out of this; I guess I’m just hoping to put myself out there, drag back down to earth a few thoughts from the storms in my head, and have those thoughts resonate with others.  

In this initial post, I would like to give you a little summary of who I am.  It seems a nearly impossible feat at times, but I think it may hopefully help you stick around in my little world.  Firstly, and most importantly, I am a lover.  I love everything, unless I decide that I hate it.  I love wholly and deeply and I get along best with those who do the same.  One of the things I love most is music.  It lifts me up when I am feeling down, and lets me sink into it when I need a place to land.  The people that make the music that flows through me each day are usually just as messed up as I am, and unsurprisingly, I love that too.  I believe that my purpose in this life is to spread joy, and love, and positivity.  I believe I am meant to create a safe space for others to express themselves and to love as passionately as I do.  I want to help others realize what is out there for them and what they can do with the life they are given. As humans, we have become distracted by many things, often beautiful and exciting things, but because they are ultimately distractions, we have work to do if we are going to decide to travel down the path of a good life, a meaningful life, a happy life.  

Many of my posts on this blog will likely be about moments in my day where I feel free and content, sprinkled with moments that are a little less full of light.  If you happen to stumble into my world, I hope that you will decide to stay.  If anything that you have read strikes a match within you or makes you feel like you are floating, then please reach out to me so that I know I’m not alone, and so that I can reassure you of the same.