saturday, january 16

I had a really tough time last night. I was struggling to find meaning in what I have been doing day to day for the last few months, and I broke down. A release of emotions tends to help, but truthfully, I was hoping to feel better than I do today. I have this incredible goal I am working towards, and yet I question myself every step of the way. I think I get between myself and my own happiness more than I should. I’ve realized that it’s not just one thing or one goal that will make me happy. It’s living a life of purpose, one that contains new experiences and fulfillment every day. In the midst of my emotional release last night, I was thinking about how what I truly want to do is to travel the world. To get to know different people and places well, and to absorb the beauty that they have to offer. I am hoping that by pursuing this goal of teaching, I can get myself to a place where I am financially stable and can travel more often. I can’t say with certainty that this would even be a “fix”. I just hope that it allows me to feel more connected to others and to life. It helps to remind myself that these challenging times are temporary and that I can, and will, get through them. Looking forward to more beautiful, meaningful experiences this year.