it’s getting easier
yet on the floor
at the end of the bed
i find myself still
hugging my knees
asking for a different reality

the truth is
i will not get a response
to all the things
i wanted to say
and though they come out
when i listen to songs
i’m sure you would have loved
i don’t hear a sound

i never thought of you as malicious
but selfish is a word that i have used
as action after action
spoke louder
than the voice
on the other end of the line
you were never there (and to be honest, that’s fine)
you are always with me now

Mindset. Is. Everything.

Why is it so difficult to remember this? There are many moments where I have to actively make myself slow down, take a step back, and look at a situation from a larger perspective. I have a habit of taking things personally. Too personally. I don’t consider myself a self-centered person, so why do I always assume everything is about me? I let the words or the bad mood of another reflect on who I am. I let others influence how I feel about myself.

I want to start going into every situation with the mindset that whatever that other person has to say is a reflection on their own perspective and feelings about themselves. It likely has nothing to do with me.

I want to remember that I can choose my own mindset, and that that choice has the power to alter every aspect of the situation. If I wake up each day, choosing to be happy and strong and inspired, then I will be. In everything that I do, in everything that I say, in everything that I perceive.

I want this new year to be about taking control of things, starting with my mind.


there’s this feeling i get
when i look at the sun
or the moon
the mountains across the lake
the light on your face
there’s this feeling i get
when i share something about myself
or know that i am understood
accomplish something great
hear you say my name
each moment is different
yet somehow
the same
i have a lot of feelings
because i feel everything