poetry – Page 3 – ilekso

.searching.

June 24, 2017June 24, 2017love, poetry4 Comments

i like to watch your fingertips

as they search my skin

i’m not sure

what it is you’re looking for

but god

i hope you find it

.light.

June 24, 2017June 24, 2017desperation, poetryLeave a Comment

morning and i’m awake and panicked

night and i am drained

sleep

feels like a language that is dead

not romantic, but full of dread

the in between is suffocation

no escape

no memory

of why i thought it better to stay than go

who am i doing this for

it can’t be me because

i‘m not here

i‘m not here

i‘m not here

i can’t be here

i don’t want to be here

i don’t want to be here or there or anywhere

it’s dark here…

there…

everywhere…

i can’t find the switch

did you lie?

is there even a light?

.wrong town.

June 24, 2017June 24, 2017desperation, poetryLeave a Comment

i had a dream

i was running to your house

to find you

i remembered it was

down this road

take a right

up this hill

past that field

everything looks so familiar

it must be here

you must be here

i guess the want was too deep

that i just couldn’t see

because right before i woke

i realized

you weren’t going to be found

i was in the wrong town…

.dive.

June 24, 2017May 15, 2018desperation, poetryLeave a Comment

can’t seem to pin down

the cause of this fear

i’ve been told there are no monsters

in the water

to bite my toes

or waves

that will cause me to falter

so why do i continue to

linger…

wading close to shore

before taking a chance

and making the dive

.mine.

June 24, 2017June 27, 2017desperation, poetryLeave a Comment

i do not belong to you

nor you to me

and it may not be the eleventh minute

after the eleventh hour

and there may be no candles

waiting to be extinguished

but oh how i wish you were

mine

.high.

June 24, 2017June 24, 2017inspiration, poetryLeave a Comment

balloons and string

that’s what you brought to me

you set them on the table and you said

where shall we tie all of these

i should have known

you would not wait for a reply

as you tied them to my soul

and to my mind

suddenly

as i looked around

i found that my feet no longer

touched the ground

.lost.

June 24, 2017June 24, 2017light, poetryLeave a Comment

there is a place i like to go

when i’m feeling high

when i’m feeling low

it’s the place i am most aware

the place i am most serene

and if ever i am lost

i think you know where to find me

in july of 1877, a man named L.L. Zamenhof created a language called Esperanto, which translates to “one who hopes”. he wished to bring those from different countries together and create peace among them. during the first world war, a territory composed of many Esperanto speakers was referred to as “an oasis in a desert of destruction.”

in the peaceful language of Esperanto, ilekso means holly. i stumbled upon Esperanto a few years ago while translating my name into different languages, as one may do when desperately trying to create a new username for social media. the history and the meaning behind the language fit seamlessly with my beliefs, my goals, and my practices. and so my new identity was born.

i have come to realize that my purpose in this world is to care for others and to create my own sort of oasis, a space that is safe for everyone to express themselves freely and feel significant in their own lives. i am consumed each day by the joy, love, and beauty in the world and i am determined to spend my life spreading it around to anyone who needs it.

i am ilekso.